Boom, Bang

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No, we didn't hear or feel the big boom last week as a meteorite arrived in the Sierra Nevadas. However, this weekend we met Bang, a colorful Vietnamese lady who was just as exciting.

Wayne attended a conference in Colorado Springs, and Little P and I tagged along. There were several 'activities' planned for the spouses that came, most of which involved alcohol. Champagne brunch, Bloody Mary mixer, buzzed jewelry making class, etc. Unfortunately, or fortunately, I'm not sure which, having a little baby eliminates you from most social functions. But one of the evenings, I arranged to have a babysitter so we could both attend a dinner.

We sat down at a table with Bang.

"Hi there! I Bang! This my husband, Brian!" She announces. Her husband is some bigwig at a company involved in mining. Her dinner conversation went something like this:

"I buy gold in Vietnam. In Vietnam gold everywhere! I bring it back to US, hope the price of gold doesn't go down, pray to God!! I can't wear it, I wear silver!" She holds up her hands to show an array of silver jewelry, probably worth more money than I would have if I sold my house AND a kidney. " I no work, I let Brian work! Thank the Lord!!" She does some sort of namaste pose and winks at me. "I buy a gold company's stock at 59. Fifty nine! Pray to God!" Then she does what I think is a Catholic arm movement from her head to across her shoulders.

Bang and her husband seemed to be very well off. But as our main course arrived, she immediately asked a server for a to-go box, and stabbed her steak, her husband's steak, several pieces of bread from the table, and any other condiments and silver wares that were not otherwise attached to the table. Bang's husband remained silent throughout our dinner, or maybe it just seemed that way because of the volume of Bang.

The next morning we ran into Bang at another function, where I had brought Little P.

"OOOOOHH! A baby! Oh, can I hold her? Oh, she beautiful! She don't have no hair!" She grabs Little P, and another lady that was with us saw an opportunity for escape. "I'll see you later, Bang," she said, and quickly headed for the stairs. Bang turned the volume up to high and yelled "See you later! God bless you! Have a good day! Bye Bye!" very loudly. Since we were in a rather uppity hotel, one of the hotel patrons looked at her gravely. "Oh! I so sorry! I so sorry!" Bang stage whispered, and then her cell phone rang. She handed Little P back to me, and I decided to make my escape also. Bang started chattering loudly and happily in Vietnamese, and Little P and I headed out.

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